I’m nearing the end of a first round of getting patching things and such on a computer in my hands, as well as a lot of what proceeded that for me – DAWs as monolithic production tools, workstations, going back even further than that, modular in the classroom – and what I keep coming back to is that the synth nerd scene can be sort of annoying, if not a bit toxic at times.
Me, a while back:
“This is definitely a boy’s club. I don’t care how neat the toys look or whatever, do not want”.
A year or so later:
Running around the green spaces at the synth nerds country club, laughing “Think of all the forts I can make! Who needs squatting? Definitely enough room for a tiny house or three…wait, what’s that noise”.
Security looms, in their menacing golf carts
A fast sprint off the property later, after some patching, a lot of frustration, and wading through the calf-deep murky waters of “synth enthusiast” forums…well, let me summarize via an imaginary conversation:
“I’m into synths”
“Cool, me too. So you write music with them?”
“Lol, no. Well, kinda…but really, no.”
“…So you…create sound patches…?”
“Sort of but not really? I dunno.”
“So you buy expensive things, but not to make sounds with them, or to write music with them?”
“Yeah.”
I had this reoccurring dream for a while where I would be in this room full of gear, but that wasn’t anything that anybody has ever made, but close enough that it all felt familiar: something that looks like a cross between a Polymoog and a VFX, but with a huge button labeled “12”. 12 what? 12 tones? 12 voices? The 12 houses of my natal chart? Who knows.
So I started in on what mystery meat, timey-wimey synth workstationy thing my brain had come up with, and why.
“Why did Ensoniq stop making synths?”
“Why aren’t there high contrast overlays?”
Which turned out to be a mix of things that were in production at some point, as well as components from other things, but all through this filter that was more about “Figuring out what to do with my muscle memory, now that I’ve unearthed what the synaptic imprinting is tethered to” than “I need more hardware”.
What’s interesting to me about this is that none of it is where a lot of people (I’m assuming) would think the blocks would be. Nothing in the dream (or my internal creative process in relation to all of this) is about patching things, for example. That’s fairly tension-free. Multi-faceted layers of production-level complexity, as well as instruments that only exist in some corner of my mind, though? Aaaa.
In any case. The conclusion I’ve come to is that audio synthesis nerding is:
1. An evil discipline that masquerades itself as a hobby, to entice passers-by so they stop writing songs or composing.
2. A cultural magnet for white cis male tech hobbyists to engage in their odd rituals, such as making bloopy sounds and arguing over specifications. See also: audiophiles, fanboys.
3. A means of making sound, both musical and not.
Thankfully, my work as a producer/composer/sound design nerd so far is not tied to coding, because that could be a lot worse. As it is, as long as I can get things into my hands, I can ignore the rest and make up for that with whatever time and energy is left. Which is sort of shitty as creative processes go, but I’m rolling with it.
What’s doubly bizarre is that I like writing music for synths, as well as having a sort of love-hate relationship with patch design. As well as being a musician, a composer, and last but sort of…well, last – a sound designer. Who happens to also be a bunch of hyphenated things, identity-wise.
Imagine how strange it was to happen on synth forums, thinking: “Oh cool, people who are into this the same way I am!” Not to mention “Hey, it’s the 2010s this time around, I’m sure there’s women and trans folks sharing space here.”
All warm, all cozy! “Don’t touch that, Morty!“
(JAde Wii is cool, btw. As is Kickback Couture. And Saint Joe (Sounds and Gear)).
So, here I am, a few years later, older and wiser about yet another cis dude-centric creative scene. Even with that, I still feel self-conscious about saying all this directly. “Hope nobody thinks i’m being rude or whatever.” Thank you, internalized shame. (A side effect of scouring synth nerd boards if you’re not a white cishet hobbyist: starting to doubt your abilities, no matter how long you’ve been involved with both music and technology.)
So how does this all translate to music making? Disasterpeace gave this really good lecture on scoring for film and games using synths, Massive in particular – and one of the things he kept hammering on is “You need to learn one synth that you like, and write to that”. Which i’ve found true as well. Sometimes to my reluctant synth nerd embarrassment, because damn if the hype around all this isn’t contagious.
For me, what did it was realizing that Zebra does most of what I kept salivating over for a spell, and I have really particular tastes (whatever, but it’s true), which I managed to keep in check well enough that it wasn’t too ridiculous…
…but it was ridiculous enough. “My hipster cred! It’s melting!” Sometimes it just has to be said.
